get-it-off-of-me

Get it off me this artist disease. Meconium is the baby’s first shit, which is sticky like tar and stains. The disease you’d die without.

Discussed sexual relationships between generations with sister and spouse this evening. They find it discusting and though, attempting to be honest, I find it perhaps fine in theory, when considering actual twenty year olds or even twenty five year olds in terms of a sexual partnership, no.

Strangers at an orgy? Sure, but again in theory. Older experienced folks guiding newly sexually active people might make sense outside of a partnership scenario and perhaps does at times.

When Steph and I were together… I don’t regret it. Learned a lot. We were both pretty fucked up, though.

Who do I know that isn’t pretty fucked up? Mixing Emilio’s bass tracks the cat has more flavor than I have ever been close to, but man does it require some work to cleanup. At least in cases. Work is a relative term. It’s not hard labor or anything. If I had to clean up his chaotic parts with a sledge hammer and sand paper, that would be work. Lost patience though. It’s hot. Rikki and I argued about mixing earlier in the day. Went for a long solo walk. Train tracks. The usual.

Think about old guy poets and philosophers and their young apprentices fucking in ancient Greece and am lazy about thinking it through or researching instances where intergenerational sex relationships weren’t predatory, but at the same time don’t want to settle on “that shit’s fucked up, man.”

If it’s an easy answer for you, this isn’t to challenge that.

I’m not interested in teaching a twenty year old or even a thirty year old about sex. Still have a shitload of my own ignorance to fill out and moving toward practicing death more than sex.

Wondering why this is even coming out? Do I just need to jerk off? It wouldn’t be thinking about children. Mostly I like to have masturbation be more of a somatic meditation. Experiencing the movement and expansion of sexual energy.

But smacking someone’s ass cheeks ‘till they’re red and will bear marks the next day could be a fantasy that gets entertained. I could get off being on either end of that equation.

Why are you writing this? Why are you reading it?

There is a book by Rachel Hope Cleves called Unspeakable, which is specifically about adult/child sexual relationships and “modern pederasty” which looks like it addresses some of these issues.

Other authors who seem to have offered some information are John Donald Gustav-Wrathall who wrote about the YMCA and “wolf/punk” relations, Martha Vicinus wrote about relationships between older female teachers and younger female students in boarding schools.

Kate Millet, right on as always, writes about the sexual rights of children and that perhaps someday if they actually have equal rights and access to freedom (including financial freedom) there could be healthy intergenerational relationships.

And there’s a collection, referenced, like much of the above in an article in encyclopedia.com, called The Age Taboo: Gay Male Sexuality, Power, and Consent edited by Daniel Tsang which apparently “captures well some of the central issues at stake.”

The article also mentions that instances of intergenerational sex have historically been used as an excuse to demonize homosexuals and homosexuality.

Rikki and Anna know. Women know and after women gay men. Certainly in matters of the inner, the body, communication, dynamics. Therapy.

The freedom of not creating a product is documentation of the pure side effect of the reaching process.

Coming back to the orgy with the twentyfive year old in it. Who brought them there? We all seemed to appreciate old Bruce Benderson, but after being photographed on he and his wiry friend’s red velvet couch, the sensations were dreary, drained and cast aside. I think I failed. Wonder where those photos ended up.

24/05/2024