Bare Facts and the Naked Truth

Back in March Mad haPPy was invited to perform at the Naked Spring Bash of this group called Florida Young Naturists, and as well as loving the group, we thought we’d found a little piece of paradise at the location, a resort called Sunsport Garden’s Family Naturist Resort. First of all, what the fuck is a resort?

“Yes, I smoke manufactured cigarettes all year eagerly anticipating my two week resort vacation because my daily life is definitely something to vacate and due to the fact that so little time is spent developing any interesting skills, I will resort to volleyball and chlorine baths between binge eating sessions at the all you can eat buffet, and shit-talking sessions at the bar.”

All kidding aside, this place is probably pretty awesome as far as resorts go, not that we have much experience. There’s something that just doesn’t feel right about having poor people clean up after you while you’re basking in the sunshine. A bit more exploration of the grounds on our second visit, this time running a music workshop for the Sunsport Youth Camp lead to the discovery of the other side of the grounds. The part that’s not hooked up to the sewer lines and where the trailers are dirty and disheveled. This is where the resident employees live, some in trailers and some in tents. One of the guys is a fucking air plane flight instructor, but since no one in this economy can afford the $300/hr lessons he’s, “glad there are floors that need mopping”. The employees mostly seem jaded, overworked and stressed out. A rumor circulated that their wages barely cover the price of lodging and food, so they end up signing their checks over to the resort, resulting in a vicious cycle which offers no escape. The wealthy clients that pay the bills at the place, seem to be mostly old Jews from New York and Europeans. Nice folk. All and all it’s an amazing thing to be able to run around naked in the Florida heat, and the guy who owns he place is a pretty awesome, loving and passionate guru-type who talks about self-love and healthy food, but his approaching Rivka and telling her she must remove her underwear in the pool area where nudity is a requirement left a bad taste in our mouths. In this uptight-ass culture we’re part of it’s necessary to have a place to show off and admire the outfits given us by the creator, but at the end of the day Paradise doesn’t have an owner, much less shareholders.

So it’s a work in progress.