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Making pages this way starts with a color, which wasn’t working in the previous approach so nice to have that back.

The presentation at UU today was Catherine Quiring breaking down aspects of recovery from evangelical religion. It was heavy. Looked like she was going about to cry for most of the lengthy segment on REFLECTION.

How you were told to consider yourself nothing, worthless, evil, untrustworthy in your essence at your core.

Acker and Stein had trust funds. They didn’t have to work. But as you know, family money has contributed here too. Just to a lesser extent. What’s left of art money from a previous generation. Nice.

Reading Acker’s fuck me cunt my mother sucked suicide experiments from decades ago it is clearly very selfish work which is a mitsva because total utter and complete selfishness is how creativity is able to break out of the shackles of a predefined service. Cultivates the suffering of the artist for whom the suffering is the foundation of the ability to leave this world of illusion and fuels the drive and disciplin to hone the skills required to bring something back from another dimension and describe it in some form.

When we experience the art of the sufferer who was selfish enough to make a product our of their therapy it is a processing of our own discomfort and awkwardness.

Part of it is CAPITALISM. INTELECTUAL PROPERTY wouldn’t be necessary and we don’t need to make products out of our therapy when we process in community. The side effects produced by our individual therapy can be ingredients for unselfish or at least less self centered creative endeavors. A story doesn’t have to be a static rock when it can be a migrating stream.

Guilt is also a product of our hierarchal social system. Not sure how but someone probably is.

Does it make you uncomfortable to read here about licking something taboo passing between smooth and ridged textures tuning and conducting levels of orgasmic state in a lover?

Hopefully if you would like to write, you do.

But let us consider a much more sophisticated understanding of the erotic.

–iLL learning

5/05/2024