x-x-x-x-x. Jersey City


How does a girl get the name Honey, one might wonder. Imagine her ex-boyfriend’s father, sticking his head in the window of the apartment, meeting her for the first time. Wearing nothing but a sheet she goes, “Hi, I’m Honey. From the bar.” A classic story she loves to tell. Her legal name is Chana; a Hebrew name, but the’re’s no english equilivent of the CH sound, which is made by vibrating the back of the tongue against the roof of the mouth, similar to pulling phlegm up from your throat, or more respectfully, a purring sound. Rivka explained it, with instructions that it’s like the sound a teenage american girl might make to exaggerate her exasperation in an exhale. But since most American’s can’t pronounce the Hebrew letter, Chet, they just make and H sound, which would turn her name into Hah-nah (rhymes with wanna). But since the Jews, at least in the Borrough Park, show affection by changing an Uh sound at the end of a name to an Eeeh sound, like Rivka to Rivki or Chana to Chani, she ended up being called Hah-nee, by typical Americans, which sounds like a nasal version of Honey. Rivka wanted her to change her name to Devash, the Hebrew word for Honey, but now she simply offers Ana, to the challenged.
Honey was the name of Lenny Bruce’s wife. This month we’ll pay our mortage with a credit card. Too busy workin on art and having babies to make a living. It’s a beautiful thing.

Guilty. Mike |