x-x-x-x-x. Mr. Wiggles Hip-Hop Dance. Poh-pih.

Eighteen/December/Four

Leafing through a book today called Killing Bono; apparently a semi-autobiographical account of a wanna-be rock star who grew up with Bono of U2. Book starts where he’s my age and pretty much (finally) given up on his dreams.

Homeboy Ryan AKA Werdplay from BlesteNation yesterday was like “you almost were a real rock star, right?” Twenty years old, Warner Brothers record deal. Met Rick Ruben, Chili Peppers, REM. Scared of hell and having sold my precious soul. Revolutionary ideals. Fear of money. Fucked-up production deal. Managers who dropped the ball. Record company who may have tried to bury us.

That’s not almost being a rock star. Know how many people get “major record deals” every year?

What’s the difference between a fool and a sucker? A fool can do it by themselves, a sucker gets help. Rivka’s dad quoted PT Barnum the other day in Oklahoma; “It’s a sin to let a sucker keep his money”.

What’s the difference between a calling and an obsession? A calling calls to you, even when you have other plans. Active. An obsession passively receives one’s utter concentration, focus and often misdirected projections.

What would we do if we stopped “being artists”? Make money? Travel the world? Eat in fine restaurants? Go to concerts and watch movies and buy records and electronic equipment? Fly people around the country to see us?

Community of friends, poets, artists makes it all feel worth it. How many years of walking around with flyers, posters, postcards, stickers? Sending out another e-mail: Check me out, again.

Keep it going through force of will alone. Feels pointless. Then you run into another artist who you really dig and they’re doing the same thing and you’re in it together and feel honored to be a peers.

Studying hip-hop dance and got turned on to this dude Mr. Wiggles here in New York. Got a page of free dance lessons on the web site and one of the styles is called Popping. Mentions the dude who invented it.

That’s guts. To try something weird and decide it’s worth persuing and to follow through and perfect it, totally based on your own feeling and intuition. Like Van Gogh. Do it your way and trust that that’s what you’re called to do.

Then if you’re right somebody else comes along and perfects it and makes all the money. Who do you think you are anyway? Slave to the ego. Ask what the world wants and give it to ‘em. Get over your self, hoe.

What is the opposite of hip-hop? Poh-pih.

rock starving. Mike iLL

18/12/2004