i love the way you fuck me


Un be fucking leavable.

We are, as a couple, into Orisha culture. The Santeria I made fun of as a child. The dead chickens we found in the woods in the 70’s and 80’s. We do that shit now.

We sing praises to Obatala, Shango, Oya, Yemaya. Oshun, Elegba. Ogun: the lone woodsman, raper of his own mother. Repentant. Frustrated. Tired. Tireless. Working. Tough.

We sing in Yoruba, as brought to Cuba on slave ships. We learn rhythms on batá drums. That takes the pain away, but none of these people want to retreat to the rhythms for the hours it requires to alleviate this tornado of frustration.

Cultivate the family insomnia.

Finally learned to type. As a grown-up. Gtypist. Fantastic. Only learned part way, though. Still get lost in the numbers and their top row counterparts.

Neighborhood organization president. Year three, now. The secretary nearly resigned recently. She’s amazing. She writes, “Something is lost, Mike. I pray that whatever sight you have is replaced by a vision.” I spend the night moaning on the floor, blaming my horrid narcissistic character. Not so sure now. Maybe her love of process also prevented clear vision.

Mayor of Brownsville, people say. Hi, daddy. I’m you. The bad version of you. The non-drinking version. Today, at least.

Smoking cheap cigarillos. Not the ones from the gas station. The cheap ones from the cigar spot. Nice.

We sold madhappy.com. These Jewish dudes with a clothing company paid twenty five grand for it. That’s more money than we net in a year. We are definitely near “poverty level” for a family of four.

Rinah is really into gymnastics. Ashirah is down, too. Family band would be fun. Maybe.

Keep writing. The orisha say the writing will be important. Which writing? We struggle with the government. Florida department of transportation want to put fucking baby gates down the middle of Cervantes Street. Blocks at a time with no crossing. More unpaid time.

Center of Wow. That’s our thing now. Yoga, hair, skin, music lessons, meditation, tea. Websites too, most likely. Communication. Ville Marketing. What is the monthly value of these offerings? Who wants it? Who wants to come to Brownsville for it? Dot org? We certainly are not for profit. Be hard to prove that any more doubtlessly.

Emilio does production for Deerhunter, who are a well established underground rock band. He gets to play violin on a few songs. The out part of the set. Very cool. Good gig.

This is a perfect life. Every flavor included.

Terrible mistakes and irreparable damage, yet still able to share hugs with countless amazing, loving people. Wow. Thank you.