From at least six feet distance

Refrigerated trucks hold the corpses there's no room for at the morgue. A COVID19 cruise ship begs Florida to let it dock and is turned away. A few friends of friends have died, as have a handful of minor celebrities. Numerous celebrities are diagnosed with the virus.

The White House changes it's story daily. Today they predict between 100,000 and 240,000 deaths nationwide. This will already most likely define a generation. Not sure.

Supposedly the government is sending $1200 to every adult and $500 for each child to help support a largely unemployed population. We get, thanks in part to our awesome Larry, around $5000 in IRS child tax credits as well. To us it's a lot of money, which puts our relative economic status in perspective.

Not sure if I'm lazy, a workaholic or both. "Man up", I was thinking today, is code for "woman up." First heard (and hated) it when Suzy Q was reprimanding Emilio for not setting boundaries in his primary romantic relationship. Mostly it seems to be used in cases of emotions, boundaries, communication and other categories of relationships in which woman show themselves to be more masterful.

Asexual is a term some people in the transgender community use to describe their discomfort with sexual relations. Discomforting as the term is, it may actually describe me accurately. Yuck? Fuck?

Sexual confusion and frustration have been at the root of many of my most unfortunate decisions in this life. Wylie's mom, years ago, lamented some aspect of my astrological chart having to do with Venus and Taurus being crossed or something, which meant that this life would be fraught with sexual frustration, unhappiness and confusion.

There have been many periods, or at least moments of bliss; memories that continue to comfort and inspire, but they are interwoven with a garden hose of discomfort and non-belonging.

I rely on sexual partners to draw my attention down from the head to the body. Rather than enjoying the energy of sexual potential, I yearn for it's release.

Rinah, somehow, has discovered that this website exists, and was asking about it the other day. So it may need to be migrated into a system that's protected from innocent eyes.

In a day or two it will be time to go food shopping again. Not today, the first of the month, because everyone has gotten their welfare check and stores will be crowded with potential virus carriers.

Tomorrow, wearing a scarf over the mouth, I'll spend a couple of hours on those errands, passively enjoying the sexual attractions and various chemical reactions from a distance of at least six feet.

1/04/2020