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Mike iLL - Diary of an iLL Boy

Seven A.M., Oklahoma city. Pull into the parking lot of a big toy store to do some blow, Duke pulls a u-turn right into the surrounding bog. Now this bright yellow 1970’s BMW is completely stuck in the mud. A woman comes by and offers to help, so the Duke proceeds to drive her little pick-up into the same predicament.

When the cops came I think Def Boy was scared about the 1/2 gram heroin, 8 ball and morphene pills they had on them, but the Duke wanted to argue with the cops. They ended up getting pulled out by the store’s tractor.

Up the road a few hours they miss the exit for a Burger King and proceed to cut accross three lanes to back up in the shoulder. Whoops, didn’t see that woman in the red sports car in the right lane. She swerves to avoid them, does a 180, and slams into the ‘Jersey devider’.

Def Boy goes to see if she’s okay. She takes one look at him and’s like, “You’re fucked up.”. They go to a gas station and she copies Dukes drivers license, which he’s not happy about. Then the radar detector starts going nuts. These guys get the license back and cruise out of the place just as two police crusers are on there way in.

Back on the hi-way they floor it for another hundred and fifty miles when Duke hallucinates a bunch of dogs running along next to the car, and the next thing you know they’re both in the hospital, and the car is trashed.

Def Boy shit his pants, and they ended up getting kicked out of the hospital cuz they smelled and had no insurance, so they stayed in a hotel accross the street, in some town of 10,000 people in Oklahoma.

They get on a plane to Las Vegas where Def Boy stays in bed for three days, and the Duke (all stitched up) catches the tail end of Porn Award festivities (which basically consists of fast food and bar drinks). |

Insanity lives, Mike iLL

26/06/1998